my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
this hospital has no fireball
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize