Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
