just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
