your room smells of hookers.
And success
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
