I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My brain says no but my pants say off.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
