Nicole vs. Life
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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