So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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