is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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