I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
