Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
