FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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