Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
