I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize