Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
