it wasn't lemon gatorade
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
