one might say we're banned from that church
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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