If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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