We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
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I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
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My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
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