in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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