do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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