I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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