If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
