I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He shit in the fireplace
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