AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
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can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
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The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.