and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
