I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
