They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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