But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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