Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
