Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
