I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
