Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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