I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
