I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
