How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
