I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
