dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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