I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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