I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
