can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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