Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Im part way to drunk.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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