I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i think my cat just said my name.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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