dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
