p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
