I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
