i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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