I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
