Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
