bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
