i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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