Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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