i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
