We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
