toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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