So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
