Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
