were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize