How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
and she was petting her beer can
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize