Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
