I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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