The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
