If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
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I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
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His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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