apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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