from now on my penis is your penis
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
