why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
