She said her name was "party"
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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