i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
